Student Teaching

Friends, I am about to share some of the most exciting news with you that I might have ever posted on this blog. And because there's no way to lead up to it without ruining it, I'm just going to tell you right now what it is.

I am going to be student teaching at Elim Christian School!

Let me say that again.

I am going to be student teaching at Elim Christian School!

And again.

I am going to be student teaching at Elim Christian School!

Okay. I think you understand now. 

I got the email this past Thursday at 3:44pm from the education office, saying that my application for student teaching had been sent to Elim two weeks ago and that they received word that Elim would love to have me come and student teach there in the spring. Moyra (the lady who works in the education office) also explained in the email that the people at Elim remember who I am and are excited to have me back once again.

Let's just say that I spent more time crying Thursday between 4pm and 5pm then I did not crying. Really though. It was kind of pathetic how unbelievably overwhelmed and excited I was all at once.

This leads me to the story that I would have prefaced this post to, however, you all would have known the ending. 

Good stories have bad middles.

Last fall I was placed at Elim in a cross-categorical classroom with an amazing cooperating teacher, eight paraprofessionals, and nine wonderful and beautiful students. I was there for just a week before I realized that I wanted to be a part of that place. I loved my placement there and I flourished in those three months. I was honestly filled with a joy that I couldn't explain to you- I belonged. I had a home. Elim felt like home to me. When I left that classroom, I was heartbroken. I would have dropped out of college and stayed there, if I could have. I was so attached to everyone in that room that I was sick for days leading up to my last day. When you're sick from sadness because you have to leave, you know you're in the right place.

Then I went back to Elim the following semester for tutoring. I got to work one-on-one with a beautiful little girl with Down syndrome, and my heart was once again filled. It wasn't the same as being in the classroom, but I still loved it. I loved it even more when I would see my cooperating teacher from the previous semester in the hallways, or the paras that I worked alongside, or the students. 

Then this summer I applied to work at Elim. And after several conversations and months of waiting, I found out I didn't get the position because I wasn't an IL resident. I was crushed. For weeks I was crushed. I was so sure that's where God was calling me and to not get the job there broke my heart. My heart longed to be there, working with the students and the people there. I struggled with it for the majority of the summer and wondered why God had said no when I felt so sure before that He had been saying yes. Every time someone mentioned Elim, it was just a reminder that I wasn't there and it hurt. And while I eventually accepted that the Lord had called me to be with Henessey and Chase that summer, it didn't make it easy to say goodbye to the job I had prayed over for over seven months. 

But now? A few months later? I'm going back. You see? Good stories have bad middles. But the ending? The ending is good. I'm going back. 

Back to the place that made me so sure I wanted to be a special education teacher.

Back to the place where I learned so much about students with special needs.

Back to the place where I saw hands on that being in a classroom made up of 18 different personalities wasn't always easy.

Back to the place where I saw it was all worth it.

Back to the place where my heart loved. Back to the place where I strongly feel I belong.

And it's just student teaching. It's not a job- it's an internship. But it's something. And for now, something is enough.

I'm going home. Almost.