And I also got a little angry. I kept asking why. And it just so happened I was a little angry on a morning where I had to get up and watch Chase at 8am.
And then it hit me. This is why.
There are three reasons why I'm not working at Eilm this summer.
1) It's simply not what God had because He had
2) Chase and
3) Henessey in his plan for me this summer.
And I realized last night that while it is so hard to not be working with the students I love, I also wouldn't have it any other way. Last night as I was sitting outside at the picnic table, in the cold, and as I pulled Chase close and as he threw his arms around my neck, I was overwhelmed with a sense of peace that only comes in those times when the beauty of the moment is so incredibly overwhelming and when God's presence is so close that you can't help but feel at peace.
God didn't have me working at Elim this summer. But that doesn't mean that God isn't using me. I wanted Him to use me in the lives of children with special needs and I wanted Him to use me to make a difference in the life of a child. And He is still doing that- just not in the way I was expecting.
Chase is a huge part of my life. There's no denying that. Besides his own parents, I'm not sure there is any human being on the planet who could love that little boy any more then I do. And by loving him and caring for him, I am making a difference in his life.
Henessey is a beautiful little girl who desperately needed someone to come and love her. She needed some stability. She needed someone who could love her and play with her and give her the attention she desires. By being someone Henessey can trust and count on, I am making a difference in her life.
Maybe I'm not where I thought I was going to be this summer. Maybe I'm not doing what I wanted to do.
But I am where God wants me. And I wouldn't have it any other way.
