Beautiful Scars

There’s been a lot going on in my life lately.  There’s been times when I’ve questioned God and what He’s doing in my life. I don’t understand why thing after thing keeps happening to me. It seems unbelievable. So today I was feeling discouraged and down and I did not want to go to work. While I was driving there I simply prayed, “God, I don’t understand why you keep letting things happen to me. I don’t understand it at all. Please reveal to me in some way that everything that is happening is for Your glory and that it is your plan for me.” 

I had been at work for about an hour. Cooper was sleeping soundly and I was playing in the backyard on the swings with four year old Quinn. She reminds me so much of my little Millie sometimes. Anyways, her shoe came untied and she ran into my arms and asked me to tie her shoe for her. I tickled her and told her I would. Laughing she sat down on my lap and I began to tie her shoe. She noticed then a scar on my hand. She traced it with her finger and said in all seriousness, “I have a scar on my hand too.” She rolled up her little sleeve and showed me her small white scar. I looked at it and said something about how I didn’t like scars. She kind of shrugged her shoulders and said one sentence that made me stop in my tracks. 

She sounded about a thousand years old when she simply said, “Yeah, but scars can be beautiful.”

I was dumbfounded.

“Quinn is that something your mom told you?” I asked her, shocked at what had just come out of this small four year olds mouth.

“No. I just think my scar looks like a flower and flowers are pretty.” was her response.

She kissed the top of my head and ran off to the swings and was calling for me to join her within seconds. But I sat there, awed by the words that had just come out of her mouth.

Our scars can be beautiful. 

I came across this song a couple of weeks ago and I loved it. My favorite line says:

I’m letting go because there were scars before my scars,  love written on the hands that hung the stars, hope  is living in the blood that was spilled for me.

He knows my pain and my struggles and He lets it happened for a reason.

Jesus showed His scars to Thomas who doubted Him. Just like He shows his scars to us. His nailed scarred hands are there catching every tear that we cry and are there to hold us when our world falls apart. 

Quinn and Dylann are both extremely wise beyond their years. They are smart, witty, and full of life. But that isn’t a sentence that just comes out of a four year olds mouth. That was God. It meant something and it was meant for me. He answered my prayers. Almost as if he was directly saying, “Yes Emily. I am letting these things happen because I have a plan for you and I know what is best for you. Trust me.” 

And I will.

It won’t be easy. But life is never easy. I’m not asking for it to be easy either. I just want to know that God is going to use all this pain and suffering in my life for something greater and something that will bring Him glory.

And He will.