My youngest brother, Max, is at nationals currently. Nationals is what we call this huge national youth conference that our youth group goes to every two years. I got to talk to him earlier today and he was telling me about the trip and he went, "you were saved at nationals right?"
If there was a point in my life that I was saved, I believe it to be at nationals.
I had been getting to know God and had been starting my relationship with him for several months before Nationals, which was at the end of June/beginning of July. I was still having trouble surrendering to Him, and I was still angry and confused about things that had happened in the past. That was what really was holding my relationship with God back. I was still angry at him for letting things that had happened, happen.
The youth group was leaving for nationals and I was not going with. It was something you had needed to sign up for months in advance, and when they passed to forms out I had tossed mine in the garbage, thinking there was no way I was going to something like that. That had been a mistake, and as I watched the vans pull out I wished I was going on that trip. There were circumstances that week I would have had to deal with at home that just would not have been good.
God knew that, and that night, once the youth group was already in Ohio, our youth leader called and said a kid had wanted to leave, and that I could have his spot, if I could get there that night. God was providing and protecting me even then, and I had no idea all the great things he had in store for me that week.
My daddy, bless his heart, drove me all the way to ohio completely last minute. I literally had 5 minutes to pack before we hit the road. We got there, i met my roommates, and fell asleep quickly.
The whole beginning of the week was kind of one big blur. The sessions were amazing, the worship incredible, and everything was great. We made backpacks for kids in Africa, went to seminars on worship, played games, and just hung out as a group.
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| Caroline and Rachel being silly |
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| Rachel was the motherly one, here she's ironing Morgan's shirt for her. |
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| Making backpacks for Global Fingerprints |
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| We slid oreos from our foreheads to our mouths. It was fun watching everyone try. |
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| One of the better pictures of Caroline and I. Note her hair was longer then mine at this point. We look so young! |
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| At nationals some of the guys always shave their heads |
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| C with my phone. I don't remember what she was doing |
The night before we left we had a prayer session. The worship was focused on prayer and there were booths set up all around the conference room for the some 5000 teens in the room to make their way around to look at.
I remember looking at the booth with the broken mirrors, and all of a sudden something happened and I don't even know what happened, but the next thing I knew I was on the floor with two of my dearest friends, Caroline and Rachel, and I was bawling. We sat there in a corner of the center for who knows how long, Rachel and I crying, Caroline comforting and trying to figure out what had happened. I think someone handed us tissues at some point. Eventually we made our way back to our seats, Rachel went to talk with someone, and Caroline and I sat and prayed together. That was the first time I ever remember praying out loud with someone other then a family member.
Later on that night when we had left the conference center, Caroline and I were walking together and she quickly asked what had happened. I told her that in those few minutes I had heard God tell me so incredibly clearly that he loved me, and I had literally felt all my anger towards Him taken away. It was the most powerful, emotional, amazing feeling I've ever experienced. I can't even describe it well. But I couldn't stop smiling and thanking God. Caroline and I walked arm and arm back to the hotel where we were staying, smiling and laughing the whole way.
That night is still fresh in my mind, even if I do forget the exact day now. The point is, since then I've worked at my relationship with God, and though its had its up and downs, its been there, growing and growing ever since then and even before. But nationals was the first time I ever remember believing God loved me, because I heard him tell me.
I still feel so blessed that God provided a way for me to go to nationals. It was incredible. And Im so glad Max got to go to it this year. I hope he takes away from it as much as I did.
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