I know, it's been a long time and some of you have been bugging me for updates for a while. So I think right now I'm going to update you all on just some of the more important things going on.
Aiding Placement:
This semester I am placed in a 7th grade science classroom. My teacher is fabulous and classy and the kids are great- but I am just not called to be a middle school teacher. Honestly, I do not want to much to do with teaching them- I've found during this placement that I very much prefer to spend one-on-one time with the students getting to know them. Yes, we do their homework and I teach them what they need to know, or help them understand what they are not quite getting, but I find that I'm much more drawn to their emotional needs than their academic needs. I find I gravitate towards the girl that comes in with bruises on her arm, or the boy that does nothing but sit in the corner and stare at his shoes. I find myself wanting to talk with the girl that is about 10x thinner then the others who looks like she has not slept in a few weeks. And I have had some great conversations with some of these kids- which may or may not be allowed, I don't really know. I do know I've set my mind to prove to them that they can trust me, and it has paid off in three or four great conversations during free time. And while I may not be able to tell them I am praying for them, I certainly can do it without making it known to them. It is certainly different than my placement last semester. Last semester I was with my 29 precious little first graders who I dearly loved and loved to teach. I left that placement floating on a cloud every day, even on those days that were hard and challenging. I couldn't wait to be a teacher. In this placement I find that I still leave feeling satisfied but not in the "I can't wait to be a teacher!" way...It's different, I don't really know how to explain it.
Roseland Christian Ministries:
Since I am aiding with the older kids this semester, I have needed to find a way to be around children since I do not babysit as much this semester as I did last. Don't get me wrong, baby Chase is FANTASTIC.
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| I mean really, who could resist that face? |
During interim I started feeling this incredible push by God to get involved in this after school program called Roseland Christian Ministries. There is a group of about 3 or 4 Trinity students that goes consistently on Monday nights and Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday afternoons. I have started going on Tuesday and Thursday afternoons and oh my hippo, I cannot explain the impact these kids have had on me. It is a pretty decent sized time commitment, it's about 6 and a half hours a week- which is about the same amount of hours as I spend in my aiding classroom per week, but it is so worth it. These kids are incredible. They are all African-American and there is about 25-30 kids in the program. I work with the younger group- so first grade through sixth grade. The oldest student in the program though is 16 and in high school. At first the kids were hesitant, they did not want to much to do with me because I was new. It took some effort and serious time, but the kids now love me. I am attacked with hugs when I walk in and more then half of them now call me by name. Developing relationships with them has been such a cool experience and it has been so neat to watch how they have grown to accept me and treat me as one of them. I love them and I am so glad that I have found a place where I can serve God and children all at once.
Other news:
Last week was easily one of the hardest weeks I have had at Trinity in the year and a half I have been coming to this school. It started out with something that happened on a Thursday evening (which if you want to know about feel free to ask me in person) that left me feeling terrified and alone. I really don't think I would have made it through those next two days without some of the amazing people I had rally around me to support me. Lette was incredible through it all. She caught me sobbing in our floor prayer lounge Friday night at like 3am and stayed with me for an hour, even though I wouldn't tell her at that point what was going on. It took me till Monday night to be able to tell her what had happened. My parents were also amazing through it- they really supported me as much as they could from home and I am so thankful for it. Woody was also fantastic- he knows what to say and how to make me feel better that's for sure. Kaity and Alyssa also both were great friends to me as I worked through all that had to be done and I am so thankful for them. But by Wednesday I was already plain worn out from the emotional few days it had been and I had a huge test that evening and was already discouraged and down. Then on Wednesday afternoon perhaps the saddest, most heartbreaking part of being at Trinity yet came down on top of all that I had already been dealing with- my roommates told me that they did not want to room with me next year. As soon as they said it I was a sobbing mess. They couldn't have picked a worse day to tell me, and I was completely totally shocked. I had NO idea it was coming. I should have seen it, but I didn't. My heart literally felt as if it had been broke into a thousand tiny pieces and my soul just felt crushed. I still don't understand why, but what I do understand is that next semester I don't have roommates. I have no where to go, and the people I have asked to room with have all said they can't take me because they already have housing plans. I am absolutely terrified for next year and I am still hurting and recovering. It's taken me a week to be able to be around my roommates without just bursting into tears. I really don't know what the next year holds for me, but it hurts to not be wanted. But I think God has already been using this in my life, so for now I guess I just have to trust in him and in his plan for me, even if it's really really hard.
The exciting news of my life is that spring break is in 3 days and I'll have ten days at home to relax and be refreshed before tackling the rest of this semester.
Well, that's it for now. Love to all.
