It's Been Awhile

I know. I know. It's been way to long since I've updated you all on things going on here.

I think a big part of that has to do with my mood. This cold is really starting to become a pom-pom stealer. Meaning- it's making me miserable. I want to go outside. I want to walk around Lake Katherine without getting so cold that my teeth hurt. I want to go out and roller-blade. I want to take Chase to the park and for a walk around the block. I'm getting stir crazy. 

But in all honesty- the cold has not been the only pom-pom stealer that's been prominent in my life as of late.

The pom-pom stealer loves to do everything possible to rob me of any joy in any situation that I find myself in. And she's been more invasive than normal these past two weeks and I have found that several of my friends are also feeling her nauseating presence as well. A feeling that has been confirmed by an increase in needed conversations, hugs, and tears. 

And so yesterday- I said I was done. And instead- I'm actively seeking joy. 

Joy in the sunshine that was shining through my window this morning.

Joy in the laughter of the baby playing with bubbles. 

Joy in the group of girls who I would be totally lost without.

Joy in the little Aloe plant that keeps on growing.  

Joy in the beautiful roommates/dear friends who last year I would have never pictured being close with.

And most of all, joy in the Lord. I have not been spending solid time with him as of late, and it is literally affecting every part of my being. Probably the reason the pom-pom stealer has made her way in so quickly.

So my dear friends...don't let the pom-pom stealer invade. Go out today purposeful. Find reasons to sing. 

Roseland

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TN024Xh3ZLA

Sometime, when my heart hurts less, I'll write an actual post about things going on at Roseland. For now, you should take a few minutes to watch the video above. And listen to the song the kids are dancing to at the end of the video. But really listen.

These kids are surrounded by a reality that we ourselves cannot even imagine. They live in a world where gunshots go off every night, where people they know die every week. 

Do something. 

Stop the violence.

Current Favorite Tunes

Here's my current favorites songs to listen to while doing homework. For your listening pleasure. 

1. I'll Make a Man out of You: Does this need anymore explanation?
2. Wherever You Will Go : This song is beautiful. And I love this version even more then the original. 
3. Read All About It: Strange, but beautiful. At least the first part of the song.
4. Let it Go: Again, does this need an explanation?
5. Do Everything: This song has come to mean a lot to me. I listen to this song and While I'm Waiting every single morning. 

Yep. Nothing special for you today. I'll hopefully write a decent post tomorrow. :) Love to all.

Fish Faces

This might be a cheesy post to some of you out there. To which I say: I don't care! ;)

There are days where I think I am not going to be able to handle this crazy schedule: 

Let's not forget all the homework on top of that.

There are days I think I've seriously overcommited myself.

But then there are days, like today, that I realize I wouldn't trade a thing on that schedule for the world (or that extra hour of sleep). Someone told me earlier today that they thought I had significantly overcommitted myself and that I should drop some of my "Chase hours".  Because while I have my set 8 hours a week with him, there are also many other times I inevitably end up watching him. 

But here's the thing. Watching Chase means:

• I get to help out and support Kara
• I get to spend time with him regularly and get to be a very active part of his life. (Kara told me the other day she feels like I'm his third parent. I prefer cool older cousin). 
• He has healing powers...I swear it. Baby therapy to the extreme (is that a thing?) 
• He brings people in and allows me to have conversations with them..And he helps them heal. (click that for a video of Chase helping bring that joy he brings). 
  
• He makes me step back and think about things and reminds me not to stress out. He also has a way of making me think about what's actually important. It's so easy to get stressed out because I have to do this project or fill out this worksheet, but then Chase helps to remind me that ultimately I'm doing this work for the kids I will one day have the incredible opportunity to work with. Oh how i long for that day!
• He's teaching me to be patient. He's teaching me how to love- really love. He's teaching me that sometimes it's okay to take baby steps. 
• And so much more.

So yes. We have days where I want to pull my hair out because he ripped my homework (Professor Harkema...I swear. The baby tore it up!) or because he managed to pull every single shirt I own out of my dresser when I turned my back for less than a minute. But we also have days, most days I would say, where there is an overflow of laughter that fills this room from top to bottom. Days where everything is perfect. Days like today, where we sit and cuddle, laugh, run up and down the hall, and practice signing words back and forth. He takes me away from school and stress (mostly) and I get to spend time doing what I love to do. What I'm meant to do. 

So maybe it's crazy. Maybe I am overcommitted. But I am happy. And I am blessed. And the Lord is teaching me more about himself as I continue to have to rely on him to give me strength to be able to do all the things I do. 

Does anything else really matter?

Playing Catch Up

This past week back at Trin has been a whirlwind of adventures, excitement, tears(happy and sad), unspeakable joy, and reunions. 

Probably one of the most joyous moments of this week was when I walked out of my friend Lori's room to see Lette sitting at her kitchen table. Tears filled my eyes as I ran to hug her and joy filled my heart as I realized, "she's here..really here." I saw Lette when she first got back from Ecuador, but only for a short time before leaving for Christmas break. So to see her and to realize that we wouldn't be saying goodbye for some time as the most wonderful feeling. I love having her back here.

The beginning of this week was both exciting and challenging. I spent a TON of time with Chase on Tuesday and Wednesday (probably somewhere around 15 hours total). It was wonderful- but exhausting. He was really not feeling well on Wednesday, which basically meant all he wanted was to be held- by me. He didn't want anything to do with anyone else, except Kara once she came back. 

This picture basically sums up our day.

Some of the more exciting moments of this week:

• Tea with Lette. She came over on Tuesday night for a few hours and we just sat and drank tea, somewhat caught up on life, looked through Ecuador pictures, and just enjoyed being together. I am SO happy she is back. Sometimes it still amazes me that she's right down the hall. :) Anyways, these two hours together were precious, and it was sooooo wonderful to be able to spend that time with her.
• Coffee with Kaity. On Wednesday morning Kaity and I went to the Panini XpressO coffee house right down the road from Trinity and enjoyed time together, with no homework to do and no distractions. It was pure bliss. We planned set times we can see each other each week throughout the semester, drank wonderful coffee, and she celebrated with me a mini personal victory (I take the mini victories for everything they are these days). 
• Classes starting. I know, a weird highlight. But having all of the education majors back together again was fabulous. We definitely have a core group- Kari, Kathryn, Brie, Jaclyn, Jessica, Alyssa, and myself, and it was WONDERFUL to be together again. That's why classes were exciting. I'm already seeing how relationships this semester are going to be grown and shaped, and that also excites me.

I've also gotten to spend some pretty quality time with Caroline and Lori, which is really really exciting for me. We really haven't done anything but hang out and chat about the most random things, but it's wonderful to spend time around them again. 

And now I am off to do homework. Because reality has started setting in, and I have a WHOLE lot to do. Yay! 

Until next time.

Pure Contentment

That is what I felt as I drove up to Trinity this past Monday evening. I'll get to that in a moment.

The last time I blogged I had just returned from a wonderful trip up to Trin. That was on Friday. Friday evening I went with Max to his basketball game, which was actually really fun. We sat behind a couple who had a child with special needs, so I was totally in my element. Saturday we just spent time relaxing as a family and hanging out together. Sunday morning I met up with Anna for coffee before heading to church, played Catan with my family, and then massively cleaned my room. Monday I spent the morning with my neighbor girls, who by the way are beyond adorable, played games with the fam-bam, and then headed up to Trinity around 9pm. 

As soon as I had arrived at Trinity and dropped my bags off in my room, I headed down to Molly's room where a group of girls were watching The Incredibles. There were around ten of us in there and it was super fun! When the movie was over we spent a pretty significant amount of time just talking and laughing. It was so great to be back there with everyone. 

Tuesday was an all around fabulous day. I hung out with the little man all morning, from 9am to 1pm, hung out with Melissa for a little bit, spent some time with Kara, and then I went to Roseland with Heather, which was a blast! We had SO much fun with all of the kids and it was SO good to see their smiling faces back there. I also had a pretty major break through with one of the girls, which was SUPER encouraging and exciting.

Heather and I booked it out of there at 6:15 so that we could make it back to Trinity in time to go see Frozen with our floor. It was a blast! Molly took a trin-van full of girls to see the movie. $5 and FREE popcorn. And by the way, if you haven't seen Frozen, GO SEE IT. Right now. Seriously. And if you can't go see it, at least listen to this song.

Wednesday once again I spent the day with Chase. I had him from 10:30am-1:30pm and then again from 3pm-4pm. Then I FINALLY had the opportunity to spend solid time with Molly. What a blessing that girl is. I really enjoy the times that we get to spend together, just us.

I'll write about today tomorrow, because it deserves more justice then my absolutely exhausted self can do tonight. 

Until then, peace out friends.

A Visit to Trinity

This past Wednesday- Friday I went up and spent at Trinity. I didn't realize how ready I was to be back at school until I was there. Wednesday I spent the day unpacking, getting stuff organized, and visiting with many people. Alyssa came to Trinity to visit me and we hung out for most of the afternoon, then I spent solid time with Lori and Brittany just talking and laughing (I've missed those girls like crazy), and then I spent the rest of the evening in Molly's room playing games with other girls from the floor. There were about twelve of us there, and it was SUPER fun!

Thursday I spent the morning with CHASE! Oh my goodness. It was so good to see him. As soon as he saw me walking to Kara's office he got really excited and was calling for me. Chase is signing a LOT now. He can sign please, thank you, more, apple, eat, yes, and no. He's also starting to talk a lot more, which is adorable. Thursday I heard him say, "Emmy", "I'm done", "Up", "Ball", "Cup", and "Shoot" (I quickly realized now I have to watch what I say...woops to that one). He also got a hair cut. Here's a visual for you all who aren't back at Trin yet.

The rest of Thursday afternoon I spent hanging out with Melissa. We made food, watched Gilmore Girls, and just caught up. Lots of things in our room changed over break without us knowing- the major change being that Kylie moved out without telling any of us. We got to the room on Wednesday and were shocked to find all of her stuff gone. 

Thursday night I spent over two hours talking with Ashley. It was fabulous. You know you have a true friend when you can talk about anything and know there will never be any judgement from the other person. The conversations that we had were truth filled and I think very needed for us both. I am really thankful for Ashley and for the way that the Lord has healed our friendship over this past semester. 

Friday morning I once again spent with Chase. It was great. He attacked me with kisses, modeled for me, and then we ran around so much he eventually fell asleep on me. Perfect morning right there.

After Kara picked up Chase, it was time to head home so I could make it in time for Max's basketball game. That was fun, but my heart is definitely ready to be back at Trinity. But for now, I am going to enjoy my time at home with my family. 

New Design!

I am having way too much fun over here! I have been working for the past hour on redesigning the major elements of my blog...(what else is there to do when you are snowed in and your family is watching some creepy movie called Wolverine?). Enjoy and let me know what you think!!! :)

Well- That's a Wrap!

2013....What a year.

This year has brought many joys, many challenges, many heartaches, and many blessings. When I look back on this past year I can't help thinking about all the changes that occurred..some good, some bad. All according to God's plan.

Some of the major changes:

• My roommates: I went from rooming with Laura, Becca, Ashley, and KP to rooming with Melissa, Megan, Kylie, and Brittany. This change was heartbreaking back in March when I first found out about it (you can read about that here), but as it turns out, God had a plan. Melissa and Megan have been SO good for me. They love me exactly the way I am and allow me to be myself in a way I can't explain. Melissa brings out my crazy side, which few people can do. Megan helps to keep me calm and in focus. And they both make me laugh like crazy
• As a side note, I am still friends with Laura, Becca, Ashley, and Kp. We often have coffee dates and I am SO blessed by the times I get to share with them. They still hold incredibly special places in my heart and I don't know where I would be without them.
• My church: Since being at Liberty is often more painful than it should be, I have switched to Bethel Church in Crown Point. Since June I have only been to Liberty twice- both in this past month. I just can't worship at Liberty like I used to and so making the switch to Bethel was a refreshing one. I love Bethel- the worship, the sermons, and the people are so genuine and real that it leaves me feeling like I am closer to the Lord. I love it. My family is planning on making the switch over to Bethel next summer- I've just taken one step ahead of them.
• My family: This year has been a huge year of change for my family. We "lost" a member, but we also gained two new members:
• Anna- this girl is a blessing....(read more about Anna's transition into our family here) Our relationship is different than it was over the summer, and we don't talk or get together anywhere near as much as we used too...but I am still thankful for her and for the blessing she is.
• Molly- Molly fits in with our family in a way that few others do. She seems like she's been around forever, even though it's really only officially been 3 months. I am thankful for her and am enjoying getting to know her. 
• Myself- I think in the past few months I have seen a change in myself that has been the most sincere and real change that I've experienced since my junior year of high school. I'm happy. I'm growing. I'm flourishing. I'm conquering. I'm thriving. and even though life has taken its shots at me, I'm still here and am not about to let life keep me down. This is  a huge change from last year at this time...when I really just wanted to give up.

I am thankful for this year. And I am so excited for next year. Here's to continuing to grow and fall more in love with life and more importantly with the Lord. 

Deuces 2013. It's been good. 

The Elephant Rope

As a man was passing the elephants, he suddenly stopped, confused by the fact that these huge creatures were being held by only a small rope tied to their front leg. No chains, no cages. It was obvious that the elephants could, at anytime, break away from their bonds but for some reason, they did not.

He saw a trainer nearby and asked why these animals just stood there and made no attempt to get away. “Well,” trainer said, “when they are very young and much smaller we use the same size rope to tie them and, at that age, it’s enough to hold them. As they grow up, they are conditioned to believe they cannot break away. They believe the rope can still hold them, so they never try to break free.”

The man was amazed. These animals could at any time break free from their bonds but because they believed they couldn’t, they were stuck right where they were.

Like the elephants, how many of us go through life hanging onto a belief that we cannot do something, simply because we failed at it once before?

Failure is part of learning; we should never give up the struggle in life.

http://academictips.org/blogs/the-elephant-rope/

I absolutely love this....why? Because I think EVERYONE can relate to it. What are you afraid to do, just because you failed once before? 

Don't give up.