Friendship

Friendship.

What is friendship exactly?

The dictionary defines it as: a feeling of warm personal attachment or deep affection

The Bible uses Jesus as an example of the ultimate and pure friend. "Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends. You are my friends if you do what I command. I no longer call you servants, because a servant does not know his master's business. Instead, I have called you friends, for everything that I learned from my Father I have made known to you" (John 15:13-15).

What does friendship mean to you?

What does friendship mean to me?

I was asked this question earlier this week. I was asked what I thought friendship meant, for having a friend and for being a friend. It’s an interesting question to think about. And after much thought, I think I kind of know what my answer is.

Friendship is when you care for someone when everyone else has abandoned them. Friendship is when you are a friend when no one else will be. Friendship is when you spend time with someone just because you love them and want them to know how special they are. Friendship is leaving someone a little note or gift to encourage them. Friendship is when you can laugh so hard you cry, or be completely totally yourself with someone without feeling bad. Friendship is when you are there to give the encouraging hugs, the uplifting smiles, but also when you are there to hold a friend when they cry, or pray with them when they are going through something hard. Friendship is confronting someone when something is wrong, even if it is awkward or hard. Friendship is realizing that although you can’t fix their problems, you can love them and stick with them through the tough times. Friendship is when you would be willing to do anything for someone, even when it means giving up something you want, or giving up some of your time. That’s just what I thought of after I thought about it for quite a while. Friendship is a bunch of little things, not a few big things.

I have several really incredible friends. About a year and a half ago I was talking with my brother about one of them. He described her friendship as, “she’s the one you let hold you when you wouldn’t let anyone else come close.”

I’ve had friends who have stuck with me through some pretty rough times. And during all of it, they never left me, but loved and encouraged me. That’s the kind of friend I want to be. I want to be a friend that people can trust, and turn to for encouragement, or to vent, to cry, or to laugh with.

I feel that I’ve somewhat accomplished that goal. I have a pretty awesome role model and have learned a lot from watching her and listening to her.  Sometimes, observation is the best way to learn.

So this week, I want to challenge you to do something for a friend. Write a note, make a bracelet, give a hug. Do something unexpected. Maybe you do a lot of things for people and think that they don’t even care. You’re wrong, they do care. Maybe you think that you already put so much time and effort into people that doing something extra for someone would be too much work, you’re wrong.  Maybe that something extra is something that person needs more then you realize.

Often times I fall into a trap. I do things for people, and think they don’t care. I write notes and think that they just don’t matter and are just a piece of paper in the trash, so I ask myself why I write them. Last week I was reminded why when I wrote a girl who I knew was going through some really hard things emotionally a note. She’s not the kind of person to just open up and share exactly what’s on her heart without you having to do a little digging. She came up to me later that day and gave me a huge hug saying that she had woken up feeling beaten down and tired and that my note had made her feel so much better and like someone really cared about her. That little note led into almost a two hour conversation about what was going on with her. It was amazing. The little things really are the things that mean the most.