You know it's finals week when.....

• You spend most of your day, as in 95% of your day, writing lesson plans
• You realize you haven't eaten anything in over 18 hours
• You realize you haven't peed since approximately 9am- and it's 7:39pm
• You only get 2 hours of sleep and don't have time to take a nap
• You drink an average of 6 cups of coffee in a five hour period
• You realize showers are totally optional
• It is appropriate to wear the same shirt two days in a row
• You think at some point dropping out of college seems likely
• You fall asleep on your RA within minutes when she's cuddling you on the couch 

How do you know it's finals week?

I'm not Ready.......

I’m not ready to say goodbye, even just for a summer, to this place I have so quickly learned to call my home. This place, the faces that surround me in my daily life, mean home to me. I realized this fully last weekend. Lette took a few girls from the floor and I to IKEA and Petland- a trip that took us about a half an hour away from campus. By the time we were leaving Petland I was starting to feel sick and had this overwhelming feeling of wanting to be home. It shocked me that I wasn’t thinking of my home in Hobart, Indiana.

This semester has been a learning experience for me and has challenged me in ways I didn’t know were possible. I have gone through so much, come through so much, learned so much, and still have so much to learn. This semester I have been given the chance to pour into others in ways I haven’t been able to before- but I have been poured into by others as well. I’ve loved and been loved, nurtured and been nurtured. I’ve lost friendships, and developed friendships. I’ve been broken down and then put back together. I’ve found more of who I am.

The end of this year is the closing of one chapter of my life. At the end of this year I have to say “goodbye” to the three girls I have lived with 18 out of the last 24 months of my life. While I know I’ll see them around campus next year, I know our relationships will never be the same. And that breaks my heart.  These girls are my sisters, and being separated from them is going to be harder for me then I think I realized.

It is also the beginning of a new chapter. Next year I have the unique opportunity to start over. I am rooming with four girls I do not know and who do not know me. I am hoping that this will be the start to a beautiful chapter of our lives- though it is absolutely terrifying to me right now.

And I’m not ready to say goodbye.

I’m not ready to say goodbye to my best friend, who has been a constant support and encouragement to me these past months. I can honestly say I am more me with Kaity then I am with anyone else. I laugh harder with her then I ever have with anyone. I cry around her without shame. I’m silly and goofy around her because I know she would never judge me. I have found a beautiful friend in Kaity these past two years and I am so thankful for the constant blessing she is.

I’m not ready to say goodbye to my beautiful roommates. I love these girls, so much. 

I’m not ready to say goodbye to two of the most important women in my life. I have been blessed to have these two wonderful ladies as RAs and more importantly as friends these past two years and I don't know where I would be without them. 

I'm not ready to say goodbye to one of the girls I have slowly learned to call one of my dearest friends.

Or to the kiddos that have not only touched my heart but have changed my life.

Not to mention this precious baby boy

and his beautiful mama. Kara has been such an important part of my life this year. She has played a huge role in it and her constant support, love, firmness, and encouragement have helped me become more of who I want to be. I am so thankful for her and the blessing she is.

Trinity is such a huge part of who I am. And while I am excited to be home, I'm also dreading it at the same time. I'm excited to spend time with my family. I'm excited to finish redoing my room. I'm excited to start working. But I don't do well with change, and this summer is bringing in lots of change.

It's a good thing I have a few wonderful people to return to. 

Max- I'm so lucky to have this kid as a brother. His constant encouragement and excitement about my return home this past week has been so needed.

Kieffer- this beautiful young woman is such a light for Christ and I am so blessed to have her as  a friend. 

There are no words to describe Hannah. She is herself. and she is incredibly amazing. 

And of course, my bestest friend. Although Em won't be around much this summer I am still stoked to get to see her before she leaves for her internship. 

Quick Update

It's been a while since I have updated you all on what's been going on, so I thought I should write a quick post with some of the major things from these last two weeks.

• As always, Roseland has been fantastic. I have been struggling with some of the new leaders there who are taking over the LOT program, but the kids are still there which makes it rewarding all the same. We are just in a period of transition, and I don't like that. But it won't be long before it becomes normal, so it's just a matter of getting used to it. Today I got to spend some quality time with my favorite little girl, which I have been unable to do the last two times I have gone because of some of the changes that are being made. It was wonderful to be able to laugh with her, talk with her, let her braid my hair, do homework with her and swing her in circles....Just all around wonderful. 

• Aiding Placement- I've finally decided, as in I decided last week, that I like my aiding placement. It's taken me the whole semester, but I finally got there. I have always liked my cooperating teacher, I'm just not meant to work in middle school. But I have finally really connected with the kids and am learning to love it more and more. The only sad thing about that is I only have a week left. 
• Roommates- This is the hard one. I am finding that I am almost in denial about the fact that I won't be rooming with these girls next year. It breaks my heart. I can't think about it too hard or I just cry. The good news is while it is super hard, we also have had lots of good bonding time and lots of good talks, which I am so thankful for.
• Kaity- Finally last weekend I got to spend some major quality time with Kaity. We watched Mean Girls and did nails, went on a coffee run and just caught up on life. That was insanely wonderful and so needed. I love my best friend. Quote of the night- 
•  Me- "it's going to be 76 degrees tomorrow and 85 on Tuesday!
• Kaity-"I gotta start wearing shorts, but that requires two things, shaving my legs and getting toned legs in one. night!"
• Classes- I am so ready for classes to be done! I am still loving my history class though, so that is fantastic. It has been my favorite class this whole school year by far!
• Dad's Birthday- Dad turned 42 last week!! Woody and I buzzed home really quickly on Tuesday from about 3pm-10pm and spent the afternoon with Dad, Mom, and Max celebrating Dad and the incredible blessing he is to all of us.
• Young Authors Festival- Last week my English Class had the opportunity to take part in the Young Authors Festival which was held on campus. I was put in charge of a group of 6 fourth graders who all wrote incredibly thoughtful and adorable books. Young Authors ran for about four hours and overall it was a great experience. We also had the opportunity to hear Ben Hatke speak, which was really cool.

A Prescription for Happy

I. am. blessed.

That's all.

Could this day possibly get any better?

I would argue that it probably could not!

First, I spent the morning teacher aiding- and we actually had a really, really good day today! It was so needed, especially since Friday's teacher aiding experiences were not so fantastic. 

It's 64 degrees outside.

Then I came back and went to class, which was actually super fun. My professor is kind of crazy, but today she was super crazy and funny- and the whole class was loving it. If you're interested, google Bethany Keeley-Jonker. Or just check out her blog or her twitter. Believe me- it's worth 5 minutes of your time. She's practically famous. 

After class I just chilled for about an hour and finished up some homework. And then!

I spent some quality time with these two gems! We went for a walk, we went to the park and played on the swings, we went to visit Caroline but she wasn't home, and we went to the BBC! :) I have been waiting for a chance to get some quality time in with both Kaity and Chase- and this afternoon I got to hang out with both! Perfect afternoon? I think so.

I mean really, who could resist that face?

He liked the swings a lot.

Tonight I have a dinner date with Kaity, night class with Alyssa, Bible Study with the floor and Mama Kara, and then a mandatory floor meeting. All good things that make this day even better.

And did I mention it's 64 degrees outside?

http://www.peapodsquadstuff.com/2011/08/catching-my-breath.html

Happy Birthday Lette!

On Tuesday, the amazingly beautiful Aletta Jean Huisman turned 21!!!

Obviously, this called for celebration. Which we did. :)

Last week I started planning a surprise party for Lette from the girls of Third Tib. I had no idea how it would turn out- but I was pumped! It started with sending out a survey to figure out how many girls were interested in coming. I sent the survey out on Thursday night and by Saturday morning 28 girls had already responded yes! Yay!!

Saturday morning bright and early (Lette was gone for the morning) Alyssa and I went shopping for party supplies. Aka- cake stuff, decorations, card making supplies...you name it! We were in a super hurry though because we wanted to get back and have people sign the card before Lette returned. In all we were only gone about 45 minutes, after deciding that I would go out and buy the ice cream Monday. 

Then came making the adorable birthday card for the floor to sign. That took about an hour. Then Alyssa walked around with me to ask people to sign it, but there was not really anyone around, so I went out Saturday evening, Sunday evening, and Monday evening to get people to sign it. A lot of girls were super cute and excited about it, which was adorable. Several of them mentioned how excited they were for the party. In all I think there were only 4 girls who didn't sign it personally- which out of 46 I would say that's pretty good!!

Monday was when it started getting really fun. I teacher-aided, took my test, ran to the store to get baking supplies, and went to Mama Kara's apartment at 1 to bake Lette's cake. 

And while that was baking I got to hang out with baby Chase while his mama went to a meeting. I don't think I could have been happier! I love hanging out with baby Chase, I love baking, and I love doing things for Lette. I was a happy camper.

After cake baking I ran back out to the store to get ice cream. Then came back and finished my homework for night class. Went to night class, got out of night class, and then had a mini freak out. (meaning I slapped my forehead and ran to Brie's room) I realized that often times after bible study, which was going down right before Lette's surprise party, Lette will either 1) leave 2) open the door and sit on the bed couch. If 30+ girls were gathering in the hallway, that wasn't going to work! So I ran to Brie's room and asked her how good of an actor she was. She ended up coming up with something she wanted to talk to Lette about and then texting her asking her if they could chat after bible study. That would mean Lette would go to her room and wouldn't see all of us in the hall. Yes!

Bible study was a blast, and it was really really good for my heart and mind. We talked about what things in our live enslave us and what keeps us from God...it was really good for me I think.

 I thought Lette would figure out something was going on because after Bible study everybody booked it out of there- no one stayed around to hang out like usual. But she didn't and she and Brie went to talk and then things started taking off! 

After Lette was safely tucked away in her room with Brie, I started running up and down the hall knocking on doors gathering people. We met in the computer lounge, and I was quickly overwhelmed with joy when I realized how many girls were there. We had 36 girls come total. Out of 46. My heart melted a little. That just goes to show how big of an influence and blessing Lette is.

girls walking down the hall

Becca being a goof 

BYOB

We all crowded into Lette's living room and shut the lights off. I texted Brie telling her we were in the clear. About one minute later Brie announced that she needed her jacket and she and Lette came into the living room. We turned the lights on and 36 girls started singing happy birthday as loud as we could.

Lette's initial reaction

So cute

So we sang and then she went and hugged each and every girl that was there. 

And then we took a group picture. Sadly a few girls had made their way out at that point. I think only 3 girls though, so most everyone was in the picture.

Then we all kind of just sat around and talked and celebrated Lette and the wonderful person she is for like an hour.

Then after the party/hanging out time, I waited for Lette to go to bed and then I decorated outside her door. :) Just as a final touch up on the night.

And then on Tuesday she had this to wake up too. Overall, I think we successfully made Lette feel loved! Because she is!

If you are someone who reads this blog who goes to Trinity but does not know Lette, you probably should get on that. She is one of the most wonderful people I have ever met and her genuine and sweet heart and her love for God and others is a light and blessing to all who have the chance to get to know her. I am so thankful I have had the chance to get to know her this year, and feel so blessed to be able to call her my friend.  She has been such an amazing friend to all of us girls on Third Tib, and we all love and appreciate her so much! She has had such a huge impact on these girls, and especially I know on me.

Beautiful Things

My heart is overwhelmed...with love, with joy, and with a little bit of sadness.

In the past two weeks I have had the chance to spend nearly 12 hours with the Roseland kids. I have been there for a few meltdowns, homework time, lots of laughter, many hugs, hair-braiding sessions, and so much more. 

One of the things I love most about Roseland is that I get to go pour love out onto these children who are in such desperate need of it. Some of them come from homes that are in extreme poverty- or families with over twelve children. They come to Roseland and they get the one-on-one attention they are often in desperate need of. 

I have had the chance to really connect with about nine of the students at Roseland. Meaning- they love me. They shout my name when I walk in- they hug me- they complain when I have to leave. They talk with me about things on their mind and love to share stories with me about their lives. Some of them make me laugh till I cry. Others just make me want to cry.

I have come to love and care deeply about these kids, and I really love that God has chosen to use me in their lives- as well as use them in mine. Without knowing it these kids have gotten me through some pretty bad days- and I learn just as much from them as they do from me. 

I want each of these kids to have amazing futures. I want them to go on to be whatever they want to be- and I believe they can. One girl told me this week she wants to be a singer and then she sang for me in a back room. She was amazing! If given the chance, these kids could do so much. But I have often found myself wondering what their futures look like- or where they will be in ten years.

God made each and every one of those children in uniquely amazing and beautiful ways. They all have their own personalities, and it has been such a blessing to be able to get to know them in these past months. I can't wait to see how God continues to build these relationships over the next year.

Decisions...and realizations.

I give up! I failed my challenge to myself and am not going to complete the blog challenge. Ooops. (I'm really not that upset about it)

The next few weeks are filled with busy and exciting things. I just do not have the time to blog every day, so for now, I'm going to discontinue the blog challenge and maybe I'll pick it up and start over again over the summer. Hopefully. ;)

Anyways.

This week has been absolutely insane! I would say this has probably been the busiest week of my life, for this semester at least. I have averaged about four hours of sleep a night, and after a week it has definitely caught up to me! I can barely keep my eyes open, and it's only 2pm!

Despite the fact that this week has been beyond crazy, it has also been filled with many good things and many questions such as:

1) What is summer going to look like for me?
2) What is my church life going to look like for this summer?
3) Can I tackle two jobs and an eighteen credit semester in the fall?
4) Should I take a summer course?

I'm at a point where I have to make a lot of decisions- and if you know me at all, you know I am an awful decision maker.

I have to decide if I want to try and take a class over the summer...my hesitation with it is if I take the class I will be working 48 hours a week and then spending nine hours a week in class....that would mean three days a week I would literally be gone from 6am-9pm for five weeks, and I really don't know if that's worth it. I don't want to wear myself thin this summer but it would also be nice to get that class out of the way.

I really do not know what I am going to do about church this summer, and it has been wearing heavy on my heart these past weeks, mainly since spring break. Before coming to college I had some pretty remarkable friendships at church. I was blessed to be one of a group of six senior girls who were all very close and loved each other very much. Since going to college we have all kind of moved on- it really is not any ones fault and I think we all knew it would happen to some extent or another. When you are spread out all year long keeping up relationships is hard. But, out of all those girls, there was one  I felt especially close with. I really considered her to be one of my dearest friends, and all of a sudden last summer she wanted nothing to do with me and never gave me a reason. It was strange, and it kind of broke my heart . We hung out twice all summer long and I have only seen her three time since then. Not once was she excited to see me.  Part of that is because I think she is afraid of making people mad...part of it is something I've been told is unrelated and stupid. But I miss her lots, and I miss the rest of the girls too. My church now is almost painful to go to. Every time I have been home for church this school year I have gone home and cried. I think that if that doesn't change pretty quick once I'm home I'm definitely going to consider a new church. For now- I'm putting it in God's hands.

I also have some decisions to make about next year in these upcoming two or three weeks. On Thursday Kara asked me what I would think about taking a more active role in the partnership with Roseland. That would mean I would be stepping up from being a volunteer into a leadership position, and there is a chance I would be getting paid for it. 

She also asked me if I would be willing to be a regular babysitter for Chase next year. Basically, they do not want to put him in a daycare, so they want to have one or two students have a set babysitting schedule every week. (Of course I said yes)

My only hesitation is I do not want to over commit myself next year. If I took both of those jobs my schedule would look like this:

- an 18 credit semester
- a fifty hour aiding placement
- babysitting several days a week
- Roseland from 4pm-7pm three days a week

It would be crazy and I think I could do it, and I would LOVE it. But I also do not want to over commit and then end up being super stressed out. I think I am definitely going to talk with Kara further about the time commitment for each and then go from there. Right now I am leaning towards saying yes to both- but I do want to make sure I know what I am getting myself into.

But I am ridiculously excited all at the same time. I was telling Lette about it this morning and if I wouldn't have been trying to be calm I probably would have been jumping up and down. 

Also- realizations that came this week.

I am so completely totally ready for this year to be over.
I am so completely totally NOT ready for this year to be over.

We only have five weeks of school left. As Lori pointed out on her blog, only 39 days left here this semester. Right now, that thought makes me want to cry. Not because I have lots to do, but because I am so not ready to leave.

I don't know how in the world I'm going to leave Kaity! I know I'll see her over the summer, but I can't imagine my life without her in it on a semi-daily basis!

I do not know how I am going to leave the Roseland kiddos. Those kids have grown near and dear to my heart and I love them and the time I get to spend with them. I love the relationships I have formed with them and I have no idea how I am going to leave them at the end of the semester.

I have NO idea how I am going to say goodbye to Lette. No idea. (For those of you who don't know, Lette is going to Ecuador next semester..)

I know my heart will break when I have to say goodbye to my roommates...because it really will be goodbye.

I am not anywhere near ready to say goodbye to Kara and baby Chase...and while I know I'll see them at least once over the summer, it still is so not easy.

I suck at goodbyes; I hate them. And right now, the end of the year only holds goodbyes. And I am NOT in anyway ready for that.

There. Now you are all updated on what's been on my heart and mind this week.

Blogger fail

I just realized I kinda forgot about the blog challenge.

Right now, homework and scholarship essays are taking up all my time. So the blog challenge will have to wait till tomorrow. But tomorrow night I should be able to get all caught up.

This week is exhausting me already. I have so much to do.

Pardon my short blog post.

Also, I'm in desperate need of a coffee IV.

Day 6

Topic: Your favorite childhood book.

This is another impossible question because I had so many! To name a few: